We learned over the weekend that our Dutch friend Donna is pregnant. She told us Friday night, and then when I saw her on Sunday morning I asked if she and her husband Rian had talked about names yet. Basically, she said, Rian is in huge denial, and that he won’t even talk about any of the preparations they need to make until he sees her stomach start growing. I totally understand that – it takes a while for first-time fathers-to-be to get used to the idea that one plus one equals three, and one of the gifts of pregnancy is that as that belly protrudes there is no denying that the baby is coming.
So I told Donna that I thought Jeff was a beautiful name for a baby, male or female, and she laughed, very similarly to the way Christie and Staffan in Sweden laughed at me when I suggested the same thing to them a few months ago. No one takes the idea of naming a baby after me seriously. I’m learning to live with that disappointment.
But having the conversation with Donna brought back memories of how our kids got their names. It was pretty dopey. I had done my family history and learned that we were a pioneer family in the state of Michigan. My ancestor Jesse Munroe was the first resident of Eagle, Michigan, in something like 1836. So I wanted the name Jesse for a boy and Gretchen agreed. I love the name Jesse – it’s both Biblical and has the whole "Jesse James outlaw" thing going for it. The question we struggled with was what to call a girl. Gretchen wanted the name Elisabeth spelled with an “s” instead of a “z.” My thought was that would mean the kid would go through life with both names misspelled, because our last name is misspelled constantly. (Damn you, President James Monroe!) Her next suggestion was Carolyn, after her college roommate (and a reader of this blog). I said no, that my parents were named Carol and Lynn and since they were divorced I didn’t want to be the one to reunite them. (Sorry Carolyn.) Then she suggested Marilyn, since that was our friend Duey’s wife’s name and it rhymed with Carolyn. There was something familiar about that. I don’t know, what do you folks think about naming your daughter Marilyn Munroe? So I finally came up with a list of names I could live with that were all variations on the same theme – I liked Allison (because of an Elvis Costello song, truth be told) and Emily and Amelia and Amanda. Gretchen agreed to Amanda.
The next issue was middle names. Since I had argued so hard on the first names, I backed off on the middle names. Jesse’s middle name is Scott, which is a significant family name for Gretchen. She had a brother who died several years ago named Scott, and it was also her mother’s maiden name. I liked the name because Munro is the name of a Scottish clan. We had no problem with Scott. But we totally caved in and let ourselves be bribed on our girl’s middle name. Gretchen’s mother said, “If you name her after me, I will buy you a new washing machine.” Well, Gretchen’s mother’s name is Susan and Amanda’s middle name is Susan. The washing machine lasted until Amanda was in high school, thank you very much.
My grandfather always used to plead with us never to name any of our children after him or my grandmother. I don’t know, I always wanted a couple of kids named Clarence and Cleva. I don’t think there was ever any danger of us naming humans after them, but they do sound like good pet names, don’t they? What I'd give for a gerbil named Clarence.
All of which makes me think of Eric and Katie Kuiper, who are expecting baby number three before too long. The first two are Simeon and Judah, which means they’ve got a 12 tribes of Israel thing going, and I wonder if Asher or Naphtali or Gad is on the way.
I am thinking there must be some other great stories out there about all the fun communication between couples that goes on when coming up with names for your children. I want to hear from you about it. I love those families that have four kids: John and Jeremiah and Josiah and Bob. How the heck did Bob happen? Let me know. It can’t be worse than taking a bribe or considering naming your kid after a sex symbol, can it?
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As I recall, my very brief consideration of the name Marilyn had little to do with your friend's wife(though she is special to us)or any rhymes, but with the beauty of the name and my middle name being Lynn, though I agree it was a good one to drop.
ReplyDeleteAnd just how crazy would it have been if you'd stuck with Elisabeth, and Ms. Elisabeth Doenier and Ms. (Elisabeth) Munroe still became best friends? I can tell you one thing... Ms. Christine Firlik probably would have felt pretty left out. ;)
ReplyDeleteMine, Helen Elizabeth was my Swedish great grandmother Anderson's name, though hers was Helena Elizabeth. I was supposed to be Robert Bruce - for the Scottish hero - because everyone was convinced I was going to be a boy...they hadn't picked a girl's name...so there was a surprise when I made my appearance.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite name in our family though is my nephew Rob's. Barb & Bill couldn't settle on a name if their 3rd was a boy. They'd batted around the idea of using my great grandfather's name (Helena's husband) and a few others. They liked the name Robert, but sister Barb really wanted to name him after our maternal grandfather - Rob would have been stuck with Harry Giril...a name no parent with any feeling would saddle a child with. She and I were talking about how important Grandpa Kreider had been to our belief system (a conscientious objector in WWI who drove an ambulance instead). I reminded her he'd always said that when he died he wanted to have been known as as fine Christian man and why didn't she use "Christian" as Rob's middle name. The rest is history. He was christened Robert Christian in memory of our favorite grandpa.
Ours are family names. Andrew William is after Steve's grandpa DY and William is my dad. He passed away five years before AW (one of his many nicknames) was born. Michael James is after my great-grandpa and then Steve's dad is James.
ReplyDeleteOur girl's name was Julia Suzanne, named after great-grandmothers on both sides. When it was time for Mike, we did have a bit of debate as to whether the girl's name could be "reused" for second birth. Since we had no other winners, it would have stuck.
Probably more interesting is the fact that Michael actually answers to the name of Yikes, and those of you who know him can certainly picture that! I don't think Wife Allison calls him that.
Christine - I think names help shape our personalities. I wonder if Amanda had been Elisabeth if she and Bess would have still become best friends? Amamanda might have become a different person, who knows. I always wished my name was more dramatic, you know like Steel or Bambi or something...
ReplyDeleteAnd what if her name had been Amamanda as I wrote above, what would that have done to her personality? No one knows. Names are funny - when I was about 8 years old I made up an alter ego for myself named "Scott McCloud." He was a secret agent/major league baseball player (the perfect cover for a spy, don't you think?) I still wish my name was Scott McCloud.
ReplyDeleteBambi?? I always wanted to be a Bobbi! --Well,in 7th grade.
ReplyDeleteYou're very right. It would be an interesting alternate reality. The alter-ego idea makes me think of Into the Wild. Have you ever read it? It's quite a fascinating story based on true-to-life events. The main character changes his name, too, and refers to himself as "Alexander Supertramp" in his journals--though he's actually in his 20s at the time.
ReplyDeleteChris - Saw the movie, haven't read the book yet. I thought the movie was very strong and a commentary on someone feeling very lost in a family American suburbia and striking out to find something or someone to show him the way. The movie knocked me out - it was one of those films that when it ended I didn't want to move from my seat.
ReplyDeleteOo, you should definitely, definitely read the book. It's very different from the movie (Hollywood has added their requisite just-for-drama's-sake elements), but it's also fascinating to see how the story changed when it's told by someone like Jon Krakauer--who, of course, has his own opinion on what McCandless was thinking. I recommend adding it to your list.
ReplyDeleteJeff & Gretch: How very sweet of you!! I never knew that before. I am touched. And, it's quite alright that you didn't choose my name, in this case, it's really the thought that counts! I love name discussions. Sorry it took me this long to catch up with you, I've been away from my reading habits since Christmas. My family has it's own inhumane names as well, my Grandfather's name being Homer Marvin, and my g'ma's name Myrtle Ione. We called him Grandpa Chief, and her, Grandma T. :-) My dad had one sense of humor; since I was the last child they were going to have, and they didn't have names picked out, my mom was on his case to find a name before I arrived. He was resistant, giving her suggestions like Aristotle and Euripides. She finally said, "When you're serious, get back to me". One night, they were at a dinner party, and someone was asking my dad about names. He said, "If it's a boy, it's going to be Eric Neal". Not sure of the spelling of Neal. But, my mom overheard, and later said, "Were you serious about that?" to which he replied, "yes". She asked why he had chosen that, and he replied,
ReplyDelete"because then his initials would be END." LOL So, there you go! If I had been a boy, I would have been Eric Neal. And, I was, indeed, the end! I think I would have liked being called Eric. Ya know, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe you could write a blog about middle names, and why we have them? We don't seem to really use them much.....now I'm curious!
Thanks, you guys!
Carolyn
P.S. Where did your parents come up with Brooks? I think that one definitely molded him!