In Brugge

Or is it in Bruges? Both, actually, which I will explain later. Gretchen and I just came back from spending three days in Brugge celebrating our 24th anniversary, which was August 23rd.

I’m posting some pictures below that don’t come close to capturing how beautiful this city is. I am not going to do a Rick Steves travelogue here, I’m just going to say it is a two hour drive from our house and I would place a visit to Brugge at the top of my “must-do” list of things within two hours of here.

In these pictures you will see a tower – known as the Belfort – that was immortalized in the movie “In Bruges.” There is a picture of the view from the top of the tower. There are 366 winding steps to the top, and Gretchen and I had the aural pleasure of being at the top at 11am Monday, when the carillon played a song and followed that with eleven “bongs” of the bell that we could feel as much as hear. Wow!

There was a symmetry to being at the top of that tower on August 24th celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary even if we were married on August 23rd. Let me explain.

Most of you know we were married under unusual circumstances. Our lives forever changed 24 years ago, on a Thursday night late in July, one month before the date we were supposed to get married, when Gretchen suffered a massive stroke. She was 24 years old and had the stroke a few minutes after coming home from work. I will always remember things like driving 70mph down a residential street on the way to the hospital with her in the seat next to me, paralyzed on her left side and having seizures on her right. It was terrifying. After a week in critical care and another week in Holland Hospital, she was moved to the Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Center in Grand Rapids, which specializes in helping people who have had brain injuries. A team of people worked on her case – I remember a neurologist, a social worker, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, plus several nurses. One of the many things we had to decide was what to do about our upcoming wedding. The folks at the hospital were concerned that going ahead with the wedding as planned would be too much for Gretchen.

What we all agreed on was that we would change our plans dramatically. We changed the date of our wedding from August 24th to August 23rd (which is why the inside of my wedding ring has “8-24-85” inscribed on it). We eliminated almost our entire guest list and never sent our invitations out. We decided instead to make our rehearsal our wedding, and our rehearsal dinner our reception. We sat down (because Gretchen couldn’t walk) in the front of the church and the 25 or 30 people we were married in front of were then seated. I recommend sitting down to get married. Royalty does it, and it helps control the knocking in your knees.

The folks at the hospital gave us a weekend pass – we were married on Friday evening, spent Saturday at the Amway Grand Plaza Hotel in GR, and on Sunday afternoon Gretchen had to go back to the hospital. I went to a friend’s house and slept on his couch, looking at the new ring on my finger and thinking how weird it was that I was newly married and sleeping on a couch. Gretchen stayed in the hospital for another month. A month or so after that she was able to stop using the wheelchair. About a year later she returned to work. Five years after that she was finally cleared to start driving again. What a way to start life together. But what a rich life it has been. Who could have imagined all that we’ve experienced over the years? Who could have imagined we would start in Holland, Michigan and wind up in the real Holland?

So I stood atop the tower in Brugge and felt elated. I was elated by the view and was so happy just to be in that beautiful place. I was laughing every time that bell rang and shook my bones. More than that I was elated because I was feeling so blessed as I thought about our life together. And I was marveling that Gretchen had just walked up 366 winding stone steps. But the 366 winding stone steps were nothing compared to surviving a stroke, or learning how to walk again, or giving birth to two children, or putting up with me for 24 years!

It was very good to be in Brugge.*

*Every Belgian city has two names, one Flemish, the other French. Most of the time you can figure the two names out – Brugge/Bruges is not difficult. But some are more of a challenge. I don’t know how anyone unfamiliar with this would know to follow the signs for Luik if they were heading to Liege or Bergen if they needed to go to Mons. Oh those Belgians.